First of all, I hate our neighbors dogs. They have a little yapper and a big dog with big deep bark. The two of them together have been barking for the past two hours. I was trying to take a nap (since i'm not getting much sleep at night nowadays) and I woke up to "yapp yapp BARK BARK yapp yapp BARK BARK!" grrrrrrrrrrrrr! I finally got so fed up with it I put my slippers on and coat and walked over to their house. Of course no body is home! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! It's like the dogs knew I was taking a nap and decided to start barking their stupid heads off right when I'm trying to get some rest.
Now, here is a list of ALL the reasons why I HATE DOGS, OURS INCLUDED!:
- THey are gross! They lick their butts and then want to lick your face.
-If we take our dog out with us, we're constantly yelling commands at it to "stay sat" or "get down" etc. and it ruins the "family outing", plus our stupid dog doesn't listen very well AT ALL!
-They shed. Our stupid dog sheds like crazy. One pass by her and you've got a blanket of dog hair on your pant leg! I absolutely hate that!
-They stink! I hate having our dog around our kids. They always come back in stinking like dog breath. Especially if it licks their face. I feel like I need to give them a shower every time they are around our stinkin dog. I'm like a bird. If I smell the scent of another creature(dog) on our kids, then I don't want to be close to them until they shower.
- Dogs are always in the way. I'm always having to step around or step over our stupid dog because she refuses to move and she likes to plop herself down right in the walk way!
-They cost money. I hate that we are paying to have an annoying pet stick around here and dirty up the place and be in our way all the time.
-They're always poking their nose where it shouldn't be....very annoying!
-I hate wearing shorts around our dog. I feel like I have to do this stupid dance just to get around her so she doesn't wipe her icky nose on my leg.
- sometimes I feel like Glen "pets" my hair like he pets his dogs tail. grrrrr! I really hate that!
Now to make it fair I will list the reasons why I might possibly like a dog.
- You can give them table scraps and avoid the guilt of throwing food away.
-If you're out camping, they can warn you of another animal that's coming.
( I hate camping with our dog though because you REALLY don't get any sleep since she barks at every little moving thing. It could be a leaf blowing in the wind or a squirrel going up the tree)
Anyway, I think there is more negative consequences to having a dog versus positive ones. oh, and just so you know, I wasn't always a dog hater. I actually had a dog when I was 12 that I really loved and enjoyed. Then we had to get rid of her because she had back problems and couldn't go up our stairs. And I have to admit I like small dogs WAY more than big dogs and would consider getting one small one once my kids are grown, but that's not for a loooooooong time down the road. And don't bother suggesting to get a cat. I hate cats too. The only time I would get a cat is if we had some acreage and it was an outdoor cat to catch mice.
I really do like animals...I just don't like living with them. How's that for a positive note. hahhahahhah
12 comments:
I had dogs when I was a kid. I liked playing with the dogs, but I didn't like it when we'd be eating dinner or watching TV and the dog would be over there "performing maintenance."
After having the little stinking nasty gross vicious eternally-barking dog about 15 years ago, I decided all animals belong on the farm or out in the forest. Not in the house.
I used to think cats were no fun but not necessarily objectionable. That is until I stayed at someone's house with cats and I discovered the wierdo sicko stuff they do.
I love our human-only home. No animals allowed!
I TOTALLY AGREE- Dogs are not fun- I totally dislike dogs!!! Ofcourse Dave would totally disagree;)
Hahahahhaha! That's such a funny post! Hahahhahha! I know, I don't like all those things about dogs too. I liked dogs more when I was younger and it didn't bother me so much that they stink and are dirty. Now that I'm in charge of a home I want it clean and I want everything clean and I don't want the smell or dog hair or dog slime on me at all! I would probably get a big dog as an OUTSIDE dog when we have a house and a big yard not in the city. The Kelley's dog is really good because they went to some classes and trained her right when they got her as a puppy. It's like a child almost and they spend a lot of time working with her to be good. But you have your own kids right now so you can't really spend all that time training a dog too.
Yes, I hate cats too.
This is Greg.
again.
My parents have a German Shepard that never barks, well behaved, really delightful and fun. It may have been lobotomized (not really). You just can't get away from the HAIR. We can put a man on the moon, but we can't get rid of spare dog hair. What's up with that?
Um...well, what do they say? Opposition in all things? Ya always have to take the bad with the good. An animal has its personal grooming habits that can be annoying but a well-trained dog can also be a wonderful companion and, of course, they are so helpful in many areas from police work to medical assistant. The key is "well-trained" so that it doesn't do most of those objectionable things you mention. A nuisance barker is horrible, intolerable, and drives anyone nuts. We had that here long enough to know. Grrr...awful!!! (But I hope I can MAYBE someday have a nice, trained little lap dog.) I like the unconditional friend.
Haha, that's funny because the picture that is supposed to be Mom is a little puppy. Hahha!
When you get your nice big outside dog, remember that horizontal surfaces are toilets, and vertical surfaces are urinals. Animals belong in the jungle.
You CRACK me up!!! I love it!!! I was dying laughing and had to read it to Joe... I totally and ABSOULTELY AGREE!!! Totally HATE dogs too and cats!!! :)
How do you really feel about dogs, Summer? haha! You made me laugh!
Our dog, Regis, is a perfect dog..... except that he smells 2 days after a bath, he pees on the rug so my house smells, he doesn't shed, but we have to get him groomed every 6 weeks, he doesn't come when we call him, we have to find a dog sitter every time we want to go somewhere for more than a day, he had kidney stones a few years ago and ended up costing us over $2000 and now has to be fed only a prescription dog food that costs an arm and a leg, he barks at everyone who comes to the door except the boy who just walked into our house one day and was downstairs playing! But at the end of the day he is really a sweet little guy and we love him anyway!
HILARIOUS!!! MAde me laugh!
This post is too too funny! Thanks for the laugh... and, er... sorry for your... um, situation. I remember the dog that you had when I would come over when we were in middle school and you were so loving and devoted to it! I know you are an animal lover at heart and feel. your. pain. I am so on the fence about dogs. I love them (definitely more than cats) but don't know if I ever want one. I think they can be so fun, but the are also a LOT of work and can cost a lot of money... and can be a pain sometimes. I need to bookmark this specific post so I can look at it whenever I fall in love with a puppy I can remember how much work they can be:)
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